Finding Your Why
I love taking this time to really dig in and understand where I am at this point in my life. I am completely aware that a time of quietness is a gift. I am not going to take one moment of it for granted.
I can't tell you how many of my family and friends are burning the candle at both ends. Their kids are going in different directions at the exact same time, they are trying to meet the demands of a job that never seems to end, and then add in a dash of financial stress or health challenges and you are done. This is what society, our peers, companies, and even us as individuals demand day in and day out.
Unfortunately, I am just as guilty of this way of living. No matter where we are in life this can happen. I have sought to be the best mother, wife, friend, school support parent, daughter, employee, and version of my self for years. It has been exhausting and I have truly felt captive.
Our pace is so fast, that we can't slow down. We have to keep going, or we may not have enough money to feed our family, our kids will be passed over athletically, our companies will give the next person a raise. Even with all the upside of winning, I still feel strongly that living at that pace is not worth it.
The race, the fight, the hustle, the stress of the ridicule of others literally burns us out. In fact it could even lead to health problems as scary as a heart attack. Just trying to make it real for me with that point.
Why am I doing this freedom plan challenge? Why am I writing this blog? My answer is, that I don't feel I have any other option.
I truly believe God has prepared me for "Such a time as this" I studied Esther this past year. I love that book. She was an amazing woman that was given much, and much was asked of her.
"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this? Esther 4:14"
I believe I was chosen for my journey. Unfortunately, I wasn't chosen to be queen, but still God has a role for me. I am fighting harder than I ever have to embrace who God called me to be. Last weekend, I cried to my husband about who I wasn't able to be. Why are certain things harder for me than they are for others. I know that I bring goodness to this world, but it doesn't look like the gift that , I feel, most have to give. God made my package fragile. You have to hold it upright, you can't shake or drop it in order to experience the beauty it holds.
I have been shaken, broken, dropped, and discarded in the past. That is what is so amazing about our gifts. They aren't just something you can only give once. I actually see our gifts as a developing piece of art. Overtime our gifts grow, change, and shine in new ways.
I am learning how my gifts are valuable and unique. In fact, at times I believe can be rare. I have begun to find my freedom in that knowledge. I am continuing to find peace in my differences. I feel called to help others find relief and deliverance in their lives as well.
You see, if I don't seek this path. If I choose to stay captive, God will bring deliverance and freedom for His people through someone else. I believe, as Esther was in the role God had for her; I am in this place God has for me as well.
I am continuing to seek to live free. I can embrace each day knowing that using my broken pieces to create something new is beautiful. I seek to bring you on this journey to freedom as well. We will find how to turn our broken pieces in to art.
This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 2